The Contemplative Nature of the Unforeseen
by Atheniandream
Summary: Life is about walking 'that' tattered line....S/J


Title: The Contemplative Nature of the Unforeseen  
  
Author: atheniandream/Jawbreakerchick/Paisleychick, my alter egos :)  
  
Email: atheniandream@aol.com  
  
Content Warnings: Sexual situations, angst, issue yada. And yoda too.:)  
  
Pairings: SJ  
  
Spoilers: None really, but Daniel's back. Yay.  
  
Season: Seven  
  
Rating: Pg-13   
  
Summary: Life is about walking 'that' tattered line....  
  
Author's notes: Been away ages, here ya go.  
  
Archive: Sam and Jack please, Everywhere ANYWHERE, my sites broke!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. I know this.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
The Contemplative Nature of the Unforeseen  
  
{Life is about walking that tattered line....}  
  
Jacob Carter hated taking first watch.  
  
Not that he'd actually asked for it.  
  
Jack had thoughtfully bestowed the honour upon the Tok'ra, so that the rest of his team   
  
might acquire some shuteye.  
  
Or at least that's what 'he' said.  
  
He still hated taking watch.  
  
But bubbling within his side of his mind, was something that nudged his agitation just that   
  
cherry too far.  
  
Jacob Carter supposed otherwise about certain 'certainties' and had forgone the past 6 years,   
  
and had left the dice to land accordingly.  
  
But in the light of day, one focus was on the brink of setting a fire to the sun and lay closer   
  
to home than some damn rolling dice.  
  
And it kept him thinking.  
  
It had done that for a while too long.  
  
And it had to stop.  
  
They say that the little things in life don't deceive you.  
  
That the natural intuition that humans and other organisms possess, can trigger the ability to   
  
see more, the mind's eye, beyond retrospect, further than one's eyes can see, whatever.  
  
The point was, that in the last few months between Daniel's decent and a few tokra operative   
  
missions, both Jack and his daughters' relationship had evidently escalated, morphed, mutated.   
  
And into something that he both wasn't aware of, and pretty much didn't like.  
  
Selmak had colourfully agreed to stay out of any Jack or Sam tainted thoughts, after a much   
  
need row between the two of them.  
  
Let's just say that a body isn't enough emotional space for two on occasion.  
  
He still hated first watch.  
  
Thankfully, it would be over in about three, two, one...now, actually.  
  
He stretched his arms, ironing out the aching muscles in his spine as he stood up.  
  
The sky, now completely pitch black, left the moon to light up all but the outlines of the   
  
tent, causing it to shade itself from the moon, and reflected upon the rest of it's dulled   
  
surroundings.  
  
He lifted the curtain of the tent, ducking at the height of the doorway, trying to watch his   
  
step as the figures inside tried to sleep.  
  
His eyes sight, although aided by Selmak's, didn't improve any in the dark because of his age,   
  
so he relied on the existing outline of Daniel and Tealc's bodies to make his way through the   
  
tent.  
  
He wasn't prepared for what he found.  
  
There wasn't enough Tok'ra wisdom to go around.  
  
The sight of his daughter, wearing nothing more than a small t-shirt and far from anything   
  
else, sent his mind in to parental frenzy.  
  
But there was more.  
  
Unfortunately, his eyesight, attempted to focus somewhat, by the moonlight that was seeping   
  
through the tent material. And on just what was lying curled, almost sensually around his   
  
daughter.  
  
His ears, and fingertips started to burn on the fringes.  
  
So bad even, that his muscles stopped working.  
  
He couldn't speak, move, shout, and holler, he couldn't even hum, which evidently wouldn't   
  
have been his primary objective at this time.  
  
So he just watched.  
  
He watched the way in which an obviously adult man, had sought to claim the flesh around his   
  
daughters abdomen, and like a child his fingers twitched sporadically between deep breaths   
  
muffled along the nape of her neck by the way she was laying almost beneath him.  
  
He forgot to watch her, and still focused on the man who for the moment had laid claim to his   
  
daughter.  
  
The man, who should have stayed away, but who had never thought of any such intention.  
  
He had to breathe, walk, move; anywhere but where he was right now.  
  
So he made his way out. Over Teal'c and Daniel, just enough to reach the door of the tent.  
  
"Dad?"  
  
Oh shit.  
  
He turned, with an uncomfortable look of distain to Sam, who had picked up a coat on her way   
  
out. Thank god.  
  
"What do you think you're doing Sam?" Trying to leave anger out of it, he opted for   
  
disappointment instead.  
  
"Excuse me?" She knew it was coming, and folded her arms around the coat to keep it   
  
from falling off.   
  
"You know what I mean. I never thought that you'd act so irresponsibly. Do you even   
  
understand the trouble you could get yourselves into?!" He rubbed his hand over his head   
  
to remove the beads forming as the fury simultaneously mounted and mounted with every   
  
word that flew from his mouth. With a mixed emotional core that he couldn't quite seem   
  
to get across to her, he tried to continue.  
  
"A lot has happened of the last few months Dad. With Daniel back, and certain, certain   
  
things have changed. We've grown a lot closer to one another."  
  
"I think you've treaded on the line Sam."  
  
  
  
"I wavered Dad. I admit 'that'. But I had my reasons."  
  
"So 'you' think..."  
  
"You 'weren't' there."  
  
{I couldn't help that, being so inept to the concept. Into believing what he had told me.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, Carter. Just breathe." The morphed, echoing statement resonated,   
  
making me dizzy.}  
  
"I thought I was going to die. So did he."  
  
{There were Jaffa everywhere. Giving death. Receiving death. Falling like bitter dominoes   
  
in the edge of a war that we had only skirted.  
  
It shouldn't have come from 'him'. That kind of loyalty was only meant for friends, right?   
  
Real friends.  
  
'Just' friends.}  
  
"So that makes it okay, Sam?"  
  
"No. It just made it difficult. Have you ever realised how much someone means to you at   
  
the moment that you're placed in the worst possible situation?" The way she pressed   
  
emphasis on 'someone'.  
  
But in his opinion, this had nothing to do with her mother.  
  
{The wheezing in my chest, although annoying, kept my mind away from straying views....  
  
"I'm not gonna..." The bitter taste in my mouth laid the rest of my statement dry.  
  
But, Inappropriate, rash, unadvised, too startling in it's own admission, I couldn't help   
  
but refuse it.  
  
Refusing the sound of his voice at the clear intent of his demand.  
  
Refusing loyalty and stability from a man who knew me well enough and intimately enough   
  
to-we don't' talk about that...not anymore...  
  
He wanted...He, wanted to believe that we could react fine in the situation.  
  
This situation. Playing. Right. Now. "Carter...stay with me."}  
  
"I stayed with him. I knew that at that moment, he was just as much a part of me as I   
  
was, AM to him."  
  
"I think you're Naïve, Sam in your choices..."  
  
"No. I grew up a long time ago. As for the choices, that's probably why we fit.   
  
Because we haven't made any."  
  
"Either that, or Jack just hasn't grown up yet."  
  
"Thank god. If he had he'd be like you."   
  
It was the wry smile of hers that broke him.   
  
Not he would let her know that, but that smile hadn't always been 'her' trademark...  
  
Something of a Jack O'Neill...  
  
Their eyes drifted between each other for a moment, as if time could stand still   
  
at that moment, then it would probably wait forever, to hear any compromise between   
  
a man and his daughter.  
  
"Look, Dad. You're probably always going to ashamed of me for some reason. And you   
  
will always hate the stuff that I do and think that I make bad choices.  
  
But I'm 34, and I work very hard for my country. And if I choose to occasionally   
  
sleep next to some one that I may have inappropriate feelings for just to get   
  
some kind of peace and feel loved, whether he is my C.O or not, I will do so.   
  
But By my own head, and no one else's."  
  
He had to laugh at her discretion.  
  
But he didn't.  
  
He just watched her walk past him.  
  
She was right though; he'd admit that much.  
  
"It's your watch."  
  
+++++++  
  
Effigy,  
  
Of everything.  
  
And nothing. In between,  
  
I lie my head upon a golden pillow, fixed, unmissed, I wait for him as 'it' laughs at me.  
  
Do you think you know when you are in love with someone?  
  
Can you define love?  
  
I only know, that when I see him, I stop.  
  
My heart.  
  
Stops.  
  
My lungs,   
  
Stop.  
  
Every part of my body   
  
Stops.  
  
For him.  
  
Strangulated, asphyxiated, suffocating.  
  
I wait, for him.  
  
Because I'm in love with him.  
  
And any love waits forever.  
  
Or so they tell us.  
  
+++++++++++++  
  
Like?  
  
No like?  
  
Well I DON'T care...  
  
Kidding! Kidding...  
  
Please feed. :) 


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